A light in the darkness, and the new, untouched days ahead

It was a weepy Christmas week for me. Overwhelming to watch Hope so happy - playing with her cousins, tearing into presents, laughing, telling stories, and just enjoying this magical time of year.

We went to clinic on Monday and all is well. She is tolerating her daily chemo well and may need a dose increase next month - which is fine. It was a huge relief and I wish we'd had an appointment before Christmas instead of after so the joy of the holiday hadn't carried an undertone of fear. But all is well. We just need to learn to trust in the moment and enjoy the wonders of now.

White House Christmas Tour, 12/20/14

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Looking back at 2014 is difficult. We are so ready to close the door on it. (So ready, in fact, that we'll be moving into a new house in January! With a giant backyard and more elbow room! More on that soon...) But there's a contradiction at work when we do force ourselves to reflect on the year.

In a light-filled room, even the most beautiful lamp is just a room accessory, likely to be overlooked. But in an otherwise deep and complete blackness, that same lamp inspires hushed voices and awe. 

We are acutely aware of life and love and family this year. Moments of joy and health and the wonder of everyday things are burning more brightly than ever before. Blinding, brilliant light braving the darkness because that's what it is meant to do.

"And now let us believe in a long year that is given to us, new, untouched, full of things that have never been." - Rainer Maria Rilke

Welcome, 2015. We look forward with H/hope to the new, untouched days ahead.